At the bar last night, this woman got her nipple pierced right in front of me.

On a related note, I suck at darts…


I’ve always found. broken drum to be the perfect Christmas present.

You just can’t beat it.

What gets you there

100 years ago, everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars.

Now everyone has cars, and only the rich have horses.

The stables have turned.


There was a lady who had twins, Juan and Amal. But she only ever kept a picture of one of them in her wallet….

…becuase if you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal.